Surely everyone has been hurt by another person at least once in their life. Maybe your boyfriend two time you or your friend spread your secrets to others. It is just normal that these are painful and can leave wounds of anger, bitterness and vengeance in your life. But if you let all these feelings rule you, then you are limiting yourself to having a full healthy life. We need to throw away all the anger and hatred, have a change of heart and replace it will love.
Your initial reply might be “Hell No! They don’t deserve my forgiveness” and that I don’t have a clue what they’ve done to you so how can I preach the law of forgiveness. Well, I may not know what happened but I know that to forgive yourself and others is essential. It may be very hard but we need it, to break free of all the negativities. Remember we don’t forgive people because they deserve it; we forgive them because “we” need it – them and you. Still not convince? Then here are some of the reasons why people don’t forgive others and why it’s just stupid.
We can’t grant forgiveness if someone has not sought it – Only when one repents and admit his/her mistakes can he be forgive. The bible itself said “Jesus said unless you repent you will perish (Lk. 13:3)”. This is because forgiveness is a two way process and its outcome should be reconciliation. If someone hurts you and just go his merry way and forget about you, even if you forgive him/her in your heart there would be no realization of the sin which is one of the steps to reconciliation so the process is incomplete. The idea itself is not stupid. It’s true, how can someone be forgiven if they don’t ask for it? What’s stupid is the lack of communication between the two parties. There’s no excuse why both can’t talk to each other and ask what went wrong. It would also be stupid for the one who hurt the other not to know that something went wrong in a relationship. And a good talk can fix all things.
Ego comes of our way – On our way to forgiveness there are many risks we will encounter. The most prevalent is our personal pride and ego. Most of the times, we take pride and see ourselves on a higher moral ground than the person who hurt us – we plant to our minds that they don’t deserve any forgiveness. Sometimes we also tend to say very bad things against our enemies when we are mad and we pride ourselves not to take those back. Our big ego is one of the stupidest things ever. Pride ruins everything and it would be a life changer if we throw it away.
We want justice or revenge – You know the saying “An eye for an eye”? Many people live by this and therefore, if people do them wrong, they would not let it pass and pursuit justice or revenge. For them, it’s just fair to do wrong to the ones who hurt them. Yes it is just fair to seek justice, but let the justice system do that and then forgive. Seeking revenge though is just plain stupid. You can’t correct a mistake with another mistake. For me the best revenge is to forgive, be happy, let go and set yourself free.
It’s just too painful – I believe that the main reason people don’t forgive is because it’s just too painful. For example, it would be hard for anyone to forgive someone who did any terrible act of violence and abuse, especially if you’re the victim. Don’t think that you are a bad person if you don’t have the ability to forgive; We simply don’t have God’s kind of perfect love – who loved even his enemies – and that’s fine, we are humans and we cannot force forgiveness, but we should at least try. If we don’t try, it will forever be painful and it will restrain you. Studies show that people who hold grudges risk serious physical and emotional consequences. So it’s just stupid to make the pain more painful isn’t it? If you don’t get past the wounds of the past, you will bring it wherever you go and you can’t enjoy the present.
Simply put, this article covered two sides of the equation and you can choose between the two. First,you can skip forgiving and spend the rest of your life consumed with hatred and anger toward those who have hurt you or Second, you can forgive, let go and once and for all be free to be happy again. When you look at it that way, it’s really not hard to forgive at all.I remember this beautiful story I read sometime ago in which the author’s brother was in a terrible car accident because some driver who could not wait their turn at the traffic light and while he was at his brother’s side who was lying in the hospital bed his last words were “tell the driver I forgive him”.